I have been cleaning house today. During this dreadful task, I came across a bag of items from the 20th century. It contained among other things, an email that Daniel had written on May 7, 1996. I asked for and was granted permission by Daniel to publish it here.
Subject: Vive el Max!!!
I had been on my computer way too long the night before today. I guess that would make it yesternight. I was playing SUBMARINE CAPTAIN: HERO of THE WAR. That would be the second war-to-end-all-wars. Past the hum of the digitized diesel engine of the Gato class submarine, I heard the faint whine of my dog Max. I got up and put the game on pause (a luxury most submarine commanders do not have), and walked to find Max lying on the lineoleum floor of our house's doorway. He looked his usual lethargic self, but I decided to play with him a while. Back in the days, playing with Max used to be the throwing of the frisbee or even the playing of softball (he would have made all-star Outfielder had it not been for his terrible arm and poor batting average).
He would also swim in the lakes. Any body of water ws this golden retriever's bath. But last night the playing consisted of simple petting and rubbing. It is a far cry from the Max of old, but nonetheless I knew he enjoyed the attention.
So while petting him I became alarmed. You see, after petting a dog for fourteen years you get to know their "G-Spots". The spots where even the slightest pressure or rubbing would cause Max to either shake his leg or give a low hum of pleasure. Max's spots were right behind the ears and on his belly. My concern started to rise when, after hitting Max's spots, nothing would happen. He would look at me with those super huge murky eyes and show me no sign of happiness. I tried to feed him a piece of dried dog food, but he wouldn't even try to eat it. I tried again only this time with a piece of bread and he tried to eat it, but could not swallow the food. I sat him up, and told him very matter-of-factly, "Max, you really need to eat this dear." And only then did he comply. Pleased at having him eat something, I figured everything woudl be ok and went back to tearing up the Japanese Fleet.
Dad came in soon afterward sayng two things, "Go to bed," and "We're taking Max to the Vet tomorrow, and we might have to put him asleep. I figured you should know." Dad always seemed to be a bit of an alarmist, and I told him that it would probably not be necessary (still high on my recent success of getting him toeat a piece of bread). So I discounted the entire notion, believing the Vet would just say, "he's got another ear or two to go." There was no cause for any concern, so Iwent back to my game thinking to myself, " I HAVE to study for my Finals."
After being Depth charged by an over-zealous Destroyer, I put the game up and looked at my mint condition economics book (hardly been touched). I opened it and it just closed back again. I opened it to chapter fourteen and began to read. Three sentences later, I convinced myself that it was indeed time to sleep. But before doing so I, for some reason, took a shower. My best guess is that I wanted to get the Red Lobster smell out of my body. After the shower I went to bed and was quick to sleep. And Max whimpered in the night.
My Dad woke me up telling me to help him load Max in the car. It was time to see the vet. I informed him of the fact that I have finals coming up and should not be trifled with such trivial matters. He insisted. The dialogue was as follows:
Dad: Danny get up (with emphasis on up).
Danny: [umph]
Dad: Danny we got to take Max to the Vet, help me get him in the car.
Danny: I got finals Dad...I need to rest...5 minutes (its strange how much people think five minutes of pleasure will fulfill their desires).
Dad: Danny, we need to go we have an appointment at 9:30.
Danny: No dad, five minutes. Max is fine anyway.
Dad: Danny, now.
Danny: oh all right! geez!
I grabbed some shorts and a shirt and went to the backyard. Dad had fastened a stretcher out of a cardboard box and couldn't lift Max alone. Max was awake and just looking around. So I got on one end of the box and he got on another. We hoisted him up and took him to the truck (even though the truck's tags had expired the car was just too small.) He was heavy. We managed to lift him on the bed of the truck and I couldn't help but think of the days he could jump in the truck over the side (tailgate closed). He even jumped a 6 foot privacy fence a time or two. The truck was full of junk so we couldn't close the tailgate. I rode in the back with Max. I didn't want him to fall out.
We were driving down the road and I noticed the wind blowing in my severely screwed up hair (maybe that shower last night was not such a good idea). I looked around at the moving landscape and petted my dog.
We walked into the empty clinic with Max in his stretcher and me with my screwed up hair. We laid him down on the cold metallic table and waited for the doctor to come. I began to suspect the secretaries thinking that I was retarded because of my hair and my inability to "match". After he came and began his examination, I began to get the erie feeling that my implicit ideas were all wrong. It was Dad that first talked of putting him to sleep. And from then on out, all the Doctor could say was stuff about Quality of Life mixed in with a few lessons on how God views creatures, and I looked on the wall for a degree in theology. He kept mentioning the humane side to "putting him down". And then he left my Dad and I alone for us to decide. It was then that my sleepy eyes became teary. It was then that the reality of losing my friend Max was so real. It was then that I could do nothing but sit, watch, and cry. The vet came back in (probably a bit too soon). Although my father and I never spoke a word in the time we were alone, we both knew the decision that was made.
My father told him that we should go, and that I had to go to school. The vet was talking about the place where they bury the dogs and how pretty it is there. He was also telling of us of the possibility of buying a marker or separate grave site. We could even have a small service. All the time I was sitting in the corner with my wild hair crying the silent tears. I reminded myself that I had a prior commitment and could not stay for the deed to be done. I could not have stayed, but I should have. And as they were ushering us out and getting Dad to fill out a Euthanasia form, I said inbetween tears to the secretary who was standing over my Max, "I need five minutes." And this time I got my five minutes. In my last five minutes with my dog Max, I petted my dog. In my last five minutes with my dog Max, I spent all the wishes I had saved up over the years on his health. I went to the sink in the room, filled my hands with water, and he drank from them. I put my head on his and he licked my tears away for the last time. And when I left the room the last I saw of Max he put his raised head on the table. I walked straight to the truck and rode this time in the front seat.
As we drove away from the clinic, I couldn't help but think, "we forgot Max." But as I am sure you all know by now, I could never forget Max. The kindest, gentlest, most laid back dog I have ever known.
Your broken-hearted (insert relationship here),
Daniel Lee Lucio
PS It is amazing how a pet can compliment your life so much, yes?
PPS If Max were a man, he'd be a prince.
Monday was very eventful for Jennifer, Magda and myself.
We got up at around 9AM. We had lots to do before we left for Magda's doctor's appointment. Magda needed to be fed, the dogs needed a walk, we needed to eat and get dressed ourselves. About the time we started our walk, it started raining. Thankfully, Jennifer added two umbrellas to our walk and we were able to stay relatively dry. Towards the end of the walk, Magda pulled off her socks and dropped them on the path. About the same time Rose had taken her frizbee down to the creek. So while Jen climbed down the creek embankment, I went to retrieve the socks with baby stroller and two open umbrellas in tow---it was raining pretty steadily at this point.
When we got back, Jennifer ushered Rose and Homer to the backyard and off to the doctor we went. The doctor is very pleased with Magda's developement. At the end of the visit the nurse came in with three hypodermic needles. Magda got three shots. She didn't like it too much when Stepan and Jen had to hold her arms and legs, but when the shots started she started crying. So did I.
Upon our return home, we discovered that Rose had found a way out of the backyard. We had been gone for about 2 hours, so she had that much of a headstart on us. Magda needed some attention, so I grabbed one of the leashes and started out on foot looking for Rose. I headed the opposite direction we usually go,since that is the side of the yard where Rose got out. I walked to the next street all the while hollering "Rose, Rose". She was nowhere to be seen or heard. I headed back toward Jen's and Jen, Magda and Homer met me. I decided to get in Jen's car and drive around the area to try to find her. After about 20 minutes of no Rose, I headed back toward Jen's, drove past their house and in the very path where I first looked were 3 boys with Rose tethered to a rope. I called "Rosie" and she came running with boys in tow. I tried to offer them a reward, which they refused, and I didn't have with me, but I got their names and Jen was going to call and express her gratitude to them.
The Rose incident seriously delayed my trip to Costco for gas. After, I located Jen and we got back to the house and I found my car keys, I headed toward my car to go to Costco. I got in, turned the key, and heard a bunch of click, click, click, but no motor purring to life. I went back to the house, got Jen and she pulled her car out of the garage and between Jen, me and my call to Daniel, we got my car started via the jumper cables that I have kept in the trunk of my car, but never needed until then. It was late, I was to babysit for S and J so they could attend the opera. It was my whole reason to stay in Austin until Tuesday morning. I went to the service department of Costco, to find that they do not install batteries. I tested my car by turning it off, to see if it would start again. It did, so I got gas and made the decision to deal with my car when I returned to Fort Worth.
Jennifer and Stepan left for the opera at around 6PM. I was feeding Magda at the time. After her dinner I gave her a bottle and then we played til about 9PM. That is the first time I tried to put her to bed. She hadn't had much of a nap, and she had had a very traumatic morning getting the shots and all. I felt that this would be an easy task. Magda felt differently. She cried. She tried to crawl off the bed. I tried to console her, but she was having none of it. So, we got up. She was still pretty upset. so I went to the front porch, thinking the night air would have a calming effect on her. This was not the case. While I was out there, Rose and Homer were in the foyer. When I opened the door, I was greeted by Rose and a partially devoured gecko, the undevoured parts were still moving. Magda was still very upset. I chastised Rose, made her leave the foyer and went to get Magda a piece of ice. I remembered that Kathleen used ice with Matthew and Courtney when they were young. Magda loved the ice. I wrapped it in a paper towel and she sucked on the exposed end. Every once in a while, she would stop sucking to touch the ice and then she would suck on it again. This went on for three pieces of ice. Magda was happy again. She was sitting in my lap, and I realized that I would be leaving the next morning and would not get to see her again. So, I got my camera and showed her the pictures that were stored in it. Whenever we came to a picture if Jennifer, she would look up at me and smile. It was sweet.
It was 9:30 by this time and I tried to take Magda to bed again. I didn't think it possible, but she was more upset this time, than she was on the first attempt. We got up again. I knew that Jen would not want her baby as upset as she seemed to be, and I toyed with calling her. Then, I thought, I can't offer her breast milk, but I can offer her formula. So, with Magda in my arms, I went to the kitchen and made her a 2 ounce bottle. We sat in the big red chair. I offered Magda the bottle, which she took. In a few seconds her eyes were closed. She finished the bottle. When it was empty, I took it away from her. She stayed asleep and I sat there and watched her beautiful angelic sleeping face for about 15 minutes. I carried her to her crib, gingerly laid her down, covered her and thought I would do the whole day all over again, if I were promised the ending this one had.